a counter deranged sadistic mean,
well-organized repeative trade mark,
fearfully masochistic tendencies,
misoure, masticate, combat, libido

I like to watch fucked up people
do fucked up things and smile
in the absolute satisfaction
she brings.

I had a dream last, last night.
The one last night i cannot remember quite as well anymore,
but the one the other night is a litt more clear.
It goes as this:

I was not a mother but for some reason i had kids as a mother should, but i knew i was not a mother with kids. I was scared. There was in and out, except it was a sit down resturant. I kept running into that resturant, as goin in there first when i was supposed to go into the place/ride next door. It begin habit to run into there first. My child looks similar to the one from "the shining" and he was being smashed by a door with a window on the door, so, i could see his little head and face being squished more and more. I had to get on the ride to fix it for some reason, i haven't the idea why i had to get on the ride to help my little boy, but i did and knew in my dream. I was so scared. Austin was both the one being not so nice to me and blowing me off and he was also another on the side lines of the ride cheering me on and bagging on his other self. He was helping me and gone at the same time. I relyed heavily on him, hung on his every word. There were some india girls on the ride and they were calculating and trying to help with the problem. Although, i do not know how this dream and if it ended.

An asthmatic flower
breathes and breathes,
as dander flows about,
her lungs heave and heave.
Her insides turn out

Colors to consume the soul
Colors to make beautiful
Colors to abide in yours
Colors to convince you mine

a splash here, a splash there
a splash of color everywhere

No color turns to black
All color turns to white
Hit the sack or take flight

Color the skies, no one dies
Imagine all the highes, flies
Thought, heart, and soul combined
Adumbrate with color, love

What's to come from out-reached arms
Comfort, warmth, and quite whispers
Touch, closeness, and unseen faces